Hello Bloggyville,
How ya been?
Crazy world ... So many things happening. To all of us.
Woke up this morning thinking. Turned out the light last night thinking. Woke up to thunder & lightening thinking. Can't stop thinking. Thinking about simpler times. When things didn't matter so much. Thinking about when the simple things mattered the most.
Thinking what happened? When did I take the wrong turn. Was it wrong? Or was it just a path. Ha, the proverbial journey that all paths lead to. THE JOURNEY.
So I think, THE JOURNEY to the END. THE END. Yep, so hence all the THINKING, natch!
My neighbors woke me to their moving company noises, at 8am ... Welcome interruption to my thinking. So, I bolted from bed, hit the Sport Button on the Hot Wheels. Flew down the highway on a quest to resolve all this thinking. To Thinking -Snarl!
I was convinced that the mystery to all this duress could be solved in creating something. Because it always does. Art & music ... Time to Blog!
AND, guess what? Well ... See for yourself:
7:30 am, March 23 I almost missed her. She was pink & sparkly. She looked like she was going somewhere. I walked back to take a closer look at her. I added her to my iPhone screen saver. Why? Why was I compelled to study her? Why take the photos? I remember that day, I thought it was the pink. Color can stop me in my tracks. Color is my drug of choice - Firmly addicted.
But today, I know what I saw in her. She looks ready to go! And me, standing still. I want to be her, not me taking a photo of her.
Have a look ... Then, I'll tell you more ...
I'm Still Breathing
I leave the gas on
Walk the allies in the dark
Sleep with candles burning
I leave the door unlocked
I'm weaving a rope and
Running all the red lights
Did I get your attention
Cuz I'm sending all the signs
That the clocking is ticking
And I'll be giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black
You'd best prepare a speech
Say something funny
Say something sweet
But don't say that you loved me
I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already lost a grip
On this abandoned ship
Oh ...
Maybe I was too pale
Maybe I was too fat
Maybe you had better
Better luck in the sack
No formal education
And I swore way too much
But I swear you didn't fucking care
Cuz we were in love
So as I write this letter
And shed my last tear
It's all for the better
That we end this year
Let's close this chapter say one last prayer
But don't say that you loved me
I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already been diagnosed
So let's give up the ghost
Already lost a grip on this abandoned ship
Oh I'm still breathing I'm still breathing
~ sung by Katy Perry
Some answers:
As I spent the morning playing with this image, quite a bit of thinking was going on. Pieces of life drifting through my head. Like a carousel. Sort of a happy/sad Mary Poppins type sequence. Lots of color, natch!
I see my mother in a hospital bed.
I see the love in the eyes of a wife, as her husband speaks passionately about his plan.
I hear my brother's voice of concern over the phone miles away.
I see the happy shocked surprise in the face of friend who tells me she thinks she might be pregnant!
I see someone holding his head in his hands in anguish, while another talks of a letter.
I hear the fear in the voice of someone I have know since I was 16.
I hear a guy tell me the story of how he met his wife, with such tenderness in his voice.
I see the kindness in the faces of a couple who give me a coupon for the hospital gowns I am buying my mother.
I hear myself, answer a stranger's question, "Why do you think you have never gotten married?"
I see the romantic words in an old love letter written to me on 3-ring notebook paper, from whom I don't recall.
I see joy in the face of an author as she reads aloud from her book.
I see a photo of a guy in a yoga pose whom I have never met.
I hear a doctor tell me the pain in my arm is nothing.
I see the beautiful vintage aqua blue tile in the bathroom of the ranch house I grew up in.
Woke up this morning thinking. Turned out the light last night thinking. Woke up to thunder & lightening thinking. Can't stop thinking. Thinking about simpler times. When things didn't matter so much. Thinking about when the simple things mattered the most.
Thinking what happened? When did I take the wrong turn. Was it wrong? Or was it just a path. Ha, the proverbial journey that all paths lead to. THE JOURNEY.
So I think, THE JOURNEY to the END. THE END. Yep, so hence all the THINKING, natch!
My neighbors woke me to their moving company noises, at 8am ... Welcome interruption to my thinking. So, I bolted from bed, hit the Sport Button on the Hot Wheels. Flew down the highway on a quest to resolve all this thinking. To Thinking -Snarl!
I was convinced that the mystery to all this duress could be solved in creating something. Because it always does. Art & music ... Time to Blog!
AND, guess what? Well ... See for yourself:
7:30 am, March 23 I almost missed her. She was pink & sparkly. She looked like she was going somewhere. I walked back to take a closer look at her. I added her to my iPhone screen saver. Why? Why was I compelled to study her? Why take the photos? I remember that day, I thought it was the pink. Color can stop me in my tracks. Color is my drug of choice - Firmly addicted.
But today, I know what I saw in her. She looks ready to go! And me, standing still. I want to be her, not me taking a photo of her.
Have a look ... Then, I'll tell you more ...
I'm Still Breathing
I leave the gas on
Walk the allies in the dark
Sleep with candles burning
I leave the door unlocked
I'm weaving a rope and
Running all the red lights
Did I get your attention
Cuz I'm sending all the signs
That the clocking is ticking
And I'll be giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black
You'd best prepare a speech
Say something funny
Say something sweet
But don't say that you loved me
I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already lost a grip
On this abandoned ship
Oh ...
Maybe I was too pale
Maybe I was too fat
Maybe you had better
Better luck in the sack
No formal education
And I swore way too much
But I swear you didn't fucking care
Cuz we were in love
So as I write this letter
And shed my last tear
It's all for the better
That we end this year
Let's close this chapter say one last prayer
But don't say that you loved me
I'm still breathing
Though we've been dead for awhile
This sickness has no cure
We're going down for sure
Already been diagnosed
So let's give up the ghost
Already lost a grip on this abandoned ship
Oh I'm still breathing I'm still breathing
~ sung by Katy Perry
Some answers:
As I spent the morning playing with this image, quite a bit of thinking was going on. Pieces of life drifting through my head. Like a carousel. Sort of a happy/sad Mary Poppins type sequence. Lots of color, natch!
I see my mother in a hospital bed.
I see the love in the eyes of a wife, as her husband speaks passionately about his plan.
I hear my brother's voice of concern over the phone miles away.
I see the happy shocked surprise in the face of friend who tells me she thinks she might be pregnant!
I see someone holding his head in his hands in anguish, while another talks of a letter.
I hear the fear in the voice of someone I have know since I was 16.
I hear a guy tell me the story of how he met his wife, with such tenderness in his voice.
I see the kindness in the faces of a couple who give me a coupon for the hospital gowns I am buying my mother.
I hear myself, answer a stranger's question, "Why do you think you have never gotten married?"
I see the romantic words in an old love letter written to me on 3-ring notebook paper, from whom I don't recall.
I see joy in the face of an author as she reads aloud from her book.
I see a photo of a guy in a yoga pose whom I have never met.
I hear a doctor tell me the pain in my arm is nothing.
I see the beautiful vintage aqua blue tile in the bathroom of the ranch house I grew up in.
I see the Twitterings of a very handsome & interesting guy.
I see my father's grave marker in Punchbowl Crater among the tall palm trees.
I see my father's grave marker in Punchbowl Crater among the tall palm trees.
I see my mother wearing black, under a cloudless deep blue hawaiian sky while standing on lush green grass, holding my hand & an american flag in the other, surrounded by people I know crying, amid the loud shots of military guns providing the salute ...
I hear my mother say, "Your father is not in there. He is heaven. That is just a box. You know that, right?"
I can still feel the warm sea air blow on my face as I answer, "Yes."
I look up to the sky.
AND, after all that, I tell you I'm Still Breathing!
AND, I see a new path.
I feel happy.
Smooches,
The Tart
; *
~
I hear my mother say, "Your father is not in there. He is heaven. That is just a box. You know that, right?"
I can still feel the warm sea air blow on my face as I answer, "Yes."
I look up to the sky.
AND, after all that, I tell you I'm Still Breathing!
AND, I see a new path.
I feel happy.
Smooches,
The Tart
; *
~
3 comments:
haha! lovely writing, which brought me back to your site and I see that lovely pic of the harrod's bus - so when are you coming to london town? your american dollar is worth oh so much more these days :) x
Speaking of Punchbowl made me think of my Dad and his wish to be laid to to rest in that cemetery. He spent 6 months in Hawaii and fell in love with the place. I spent 3 months there during the Summer. Was just 13 years old at the time. Anyway, thanks for the post. Enjoyed the read.
I'm glad you're still breathing, but this post took my breath away. Very moving. How good to be back in Bloggy-ville. Hope that you write more, Tart!
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